It’s weird how so much time can pass, and you can still miss someone’s presence in your life so much that your bones seem to ache with their absence.
I had a dream the other night. It was so vivid. I dreamed that I saw someone who I have been missing for a very long time. Someone who was and will always be a huge part of me, someone who has had the most profound influence on my entire life. I feel lucky for being able to spend 11 years of my life loving them. No matter what ever happened, I wish he knew that he really is the best man I have ever had the privilege to know. I still think about him about a million times per day, and will probably miss him until the day that I die.
In my dream, I remember just saying “it’s you !”, taking his face in my hands and just looking at him, drinking in the vision of his face, his eyes, the familiarity of his features. It was a feeling of such … comfort. The feeling of elation that I still feel is palpable. I felt whole again, just for that fleeting moment. It felt so real, I wish it was real. I would give anything for just a moment, a moment to say, even after all this time, “You are loved.” and most of all, I wish I could just simply say “I’m sorry”.
And so ends this sappy, too personal posting. I just felt the need to vent a little bit, I suppose …